Leaving A Message

BY JAZMINE LAMPLEY

I pace the floor, going back and forth on my feet. I shake my hands, trying to get the sweat off, but it seems to get worse the longer I wait. I need answers. But, how do You answer a question I haven't asked? I can't ask. My thoughts are unorganized. My tongue is weighed down from the heaviness of words just sitting on it. Please, what do I do?

I try to clear my mind by going outside. The stars are out, blanketing the deep blue sky. I don't know if You are out there listening, but maybe I will wait some more.

I walk through the dewey grass. My hot feet cool down, bringing a calm sensation over my body. Maybe if I sit it will take my mind off of the time it is taking to wait for You.

I need to hear from You. Your voice. Your word. A divine sign from the twinkling of the stars You made. I desperately stare at them, hoping You will descend from above and give me an answer to the question I want to ask. I fall back into the grass, making a gentle thud. I lay silent, eyes closed, breathing in the nature around me. The wind softly sweeps over me, taking a lone tear away from the corner of my eye.

"How will you ever hear from Me if you don't talk to Me?"

I pop up, startled by the calm but loud voice. I look around to see who was there, but there was no one to be seen. No one to be found.

“Talk to me," the voice whispers.

I feel an overwhelming warmth come over me and consume me. Tears wash over my face as I kneel, lift my eyes to the sky, and cry out, “God, why can’t I feel you? Do you hear me? Can you help me? I don’t want to feel alone anymore!”

Something stirs in me that I've never felt before, and I open my mouth. The words are finally released. Words I don't understand, but I know You hear them. I can feel You listening, taking in every single thing I speak to you, and filling me back up with a peace that surpasses all that I know and can comprehend. You take every question weighing on my heart and spirit into Yourself, releasing me from my own mind.

The burden is lifted, and my yoke is light. I lie back in the grass again, looking at the stars. How much brighter do they shine knowing that it was Your voice which called them to be? The same voice called out to create me. No more waiting or pacing the floors. Now I know that you are listening, I will call on You forevermore.

Jazmine Lampley

Jazmine Lampley is a St. Louis native, wife, and mother to two beautifully rambunctious boys.
She enjoys writing as a way to communicate, express, and pray.

You can connect with Jazmine on Facebook at Jaz Marie and Instagram at @jaz_with_a_z.